Chill out corner - Positive Time Out

Our Chill-Out Corner As a Positive Discipline Tool for Emotional Self Regulation.

I have been doing a little research into activities, colours, smells and so forth that aide in relaxation and calming as discipline tools for Dimples "chill out" corner. Instead of the traditional time outs and the minute per year of age taken we are establishing a calming chill out corner where dimples can go to re-centre, calm down or chill out. Its a bit like a thinking corner I guess, with a positive twist.

The basic idea is that it will help diffuse situations before they escalate into chaos. This doesn't happen often and he is a pretty well behaved little munchkin but he often gets overwhelmed by big emotions in his tiny body, whether its frustration or anger or sadness and I want to provide him with an appropriate outlet for these because we all know big emotions can escalate into yelling, shouting, name calling, lashing out, tantrums and even physical attacks.

The chill out corner will help him reconnect and re-centre with his true self.
The idea is that it will provide an appropriate avenue for release of his pent up emotions or frustration and teach him its ok to feel that way, but you have a choice what to do with these feelings. It will be a relaxed atmosphere with activities objects and smells that help relax the mind.

How to make a calm chill out Space-

Here are some ideas of things that can go into a calm space or a chill out corner and what we have included in ours.  If you have any more ideas, please feel free to comment so others can see.

Music: Calming music is a good stress release that aides in relaxation. Soft tranquil nature sounds, classical or calming noises that you can find on mediation Cd's or baby toys do wonders for the mind.  If this isnt something that appeals to your child, many people feel that dance or "dancing it off" to fast up beat music you can groove and move to is a great physical release for pent up energy. After all exercise releases endorphines and endorphines make us happy, right?

• Meditation balls that have the chimes insides them,
• Wrist bells
• Small tambourine or maraca
• Baby Rattles and shakers
• Rain makers
• A music box like the one above

Colours:  Blues, Greens, Purples and Greys are said to be calming colours. Notice they are all on the cool side of the colour spectrum. Light and neutral colours that aren't overwhelming and will help calm the soul are great to have in your calming space. It has been said that warm colours, such as yellow are stressful and can even cause distraction and agitation in children.
Use your colours in your chill out area through-

• A diffuser that has essential oils and changes colours, like this one: 
• Storage boxes
• Furniture
• Discovery bottles
• Materials of cushions
• A floor rug
• Wall Paint or posters/Pictures used
• Colours of objects and items included
• Visual desk decorations. 





Sense of Smell: Lavender has long been known to aide in stress relief.  You can use smell in-

• Scented sensory bottles, 
• Dyed rice soaked in lavender,
• Diffusers,
• Room spray on the cushions or materials,
• Clean the room with lavender carpet deodoriser,
• Use lavender in pillows, pot pouri or in teddies with the stuffing
• Hide lavender scented room things through the area.
• Or make a Lavender rice zen garden like the one below.

Relaxing Mini Zen Garden Using Lavender Dyed Rice.
http://adventuresathomewithmum.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/lavender-rice-mini-zen-garden.html



Sensory Tactile Objects: These objects require focus and attention and have been used in calming activities with children for a long time.  Occupational therapists utilise sensory activities and things that they call "fidget toys" for children who have adhd, autism and sensory processing disorder but for all children these type of toys can provide a release of energy in a highly attentive manner where they require a re-focus of cognitive ability and a distraction from the spaces surrounding them.  This helps them self regulate their emotions, calm down, re-centre, settle the mind/body and provides a stress-release (much like the adult stress balls I am sure you've seen before).

• Stress balls, these can be made from balloons filled with play dough, rice or flour.
• Visual liquid table timers or lava lamps
• Cognitive puzzles (Rubik cube, links, and mind mazes with small balls that go through)
• Children's squish or squeeze toys
• Textured toys (Hairy, fluffy, rubbery or sticky feeling that can be fiddled with)
• Sensory boxes
• Discovery or sensory bottles
• Miniature Zen gardens
• Trickery/mind game toys, like the twist it baby toys and links.

Stress balls, squeeze balls, mind agames, sharkers and bells

Deep Breathing: Most children don't know how to calm their body down and self regulate so they need to be taught this skill. Asking them to close their eyes and take deep breathes can help but for younger children there are fun little activities that can help that require deep breathes. Tell them to take a big breath before entering the chill out corner and to use their breath in;

• Pin-wheels, that spin as you blow. 
• Soft whistles,
• small bubbles that they blow
• or some balloons.

Reading, Drawing and Art Therapy about feelings:  This gives a child the opportunity to distinguish their feelings through pictures and discuss how they might feel without directly talking about it. Art therapy is often used with older children to release negative energy and express inner feelings but for younger children just doing a big hard scribble can be a great release, ask them to draw how they feel and see what they come up with. Whether it is a picture a scribble or a bunch of hard lines doesn't matter as long as they feel they can openly let out how they feel in an appropriate way. The idea is that it is OK to feel angry or upset, emotions are normal but what you do with them is even more important.  You can help by identifying words for the feelings and discussing them by using;

• Emotional Face cards or facial pictures like the ones in our emotional intelligence activity.
• Finger or hand puppets
• Books on feelings or stories about emotions
• Blank paper and drawing tools
• Colouring book and coloured pencils
• Story stones (with a feelings theme) made like the ones we did here

http://adventuresathomewithmum.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/story-stones-for-imaginative-free-play.html



Ripping, Hitting and Scrunching appropriate Objects:  If it is strong emotions relating to aggression, frustration and opposition that a child experiences you can provide them with safe objects to take their feelings out on. Ripping and tearing up paper or scrunching it releases physical stress and can give the child a sense of control that they feel angry and are allowed to show it but not projected onto their self or others. Another great physical release for pent up negative energy is pounding play dough or hitting a pillow or a bean bag.  The child cant hurt them self and often the act of letting it out physically will release their stress and cheer them up. Have you ever hit a pillow? Often children find its quite funny and after a few hits or punches they think its silly and funny, then will start mucking around, they've let out their emotions, released their stress, realised its ok to feel that way and re-centred into a positive frame of mind.

• A pillow corner
• Bean Bag
• Soft toys
• cuddle toys with rattles or chimes inside
• Scrap paper to rip and a bin
• Play dough to punch and thump

rattle cuddle toys and Lavender Sensory bottles as seen here : http://adventuresathomewithmum.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/scented-sensory-discovery-bottles.html

The important thing that we will be doing with our new form of time out will be there is NO TIME LIMIT.  Dimples is 3, but I will not make him go in to it for 3 minutes. He may only require one minute to refocus. He may feel good after being in there for a short time and if he is kept in there after that, the time to praise and establish a connection with him has gone and past.
The other thing is that it is not punishment and it is not isolated. I can also sit with him if he wants and help him, and it is not just an area to go when I spot him becoming worked up or agitated it is an area that can be used whenever we need some quite time or some peace.

The idea of our chill out corner is that he can go there when he needs to calm down or when i can see he is getting worked up or not coping with strong emotions.  Once he does this and feels he has calmed down he can come to me. It is important to notice and specifically praise the good behaviour or appropriate release of emotions as he has shown it (not 3 minutes later after the time has past) and it is also important that this discipline tool is a form of prevention and an opportunity to learn how to self regulate, it is not a form of punishment or a 'Naughty Corner'.

The other concept of our chill out time is that its for ME TOO.  It is important to set a good example, children learn by observation and imitation so if they see that everyone, even adults get agitated or frustrated and its ok to do that but important to calm down or "chill out" they will follow what they see. For that reason I will be using the chill out corner to, if I need to re-centre and calm down I will go do what calms me down a sketch or  a drawing, or play with the meditation balls.

Chill out & Happy Adventures :)

Benefits of Pretend Play

Recently I had the opportinity to do a guest post @ http://positiveparentingconnection.net which resulted in some great comments. So here is an extended version with some additional ideas, links & pictures for the Captain Underpants fans...

In a busy world with what seems to be tireless amounts of chores, it is easy to fall into a cycle of giving your child the same toys to play with each day, using the TV as a baby sitter or saying "maybe next time", "hold on, I just need to finish this first" each time your child comes running to you with underwear on their head exclaiming that they are Captain Underpants requesting that you come play with them.  As parents it is important for us to acknowledge that for a child "Play" is not just leisure but is how they learn.

Captain Underpants flying through the clouds... 

 Of course there are many forms of play and endless ways to engage in play with your child. Dramatic or Pretend Play is just one way that children benefit from immensely that will also give you a chance to positively enhance their learning experiences, their self-esteem but most importantly it can strengthen your relationship with them.

Here are some of the benefits derived from Dramatic / Pretend Play-

• Pretending:  Just the act of pretending is a learning curve for a child. It grants them with an outlet to role play what they have seen in their world. This helps them learn about how the world works and practice how adults interact.
• Social Play: Pretend play encourages negotiation, cooperation, and role playing different situations. Pretend story lines and characters, turn taking, sharing are all great skills to learn.
• Social interaction: Not only does it help with social skills but it encourages a child to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and be empathetic and considerate of others. This gives them a chance to practice behaviour, manners and language that is needed when they interact in real world situations, as well as what behaviour is acceptable in public.
• Language development: Dramatic Pretend play encourages expressive language that would not otherwise be used by the child.  Often through pretend play withdrawn children can first start to express themselves by acting a certain role.  Further, this gives the parent an opportunity to extend on language skills by paraphrasing what the child has said using more descriptive language and exchanging conversations using expressive language examples.
• Imagination: Pretend Dramatic Play is a great for showing how imaginative children are. Imagination is an important building block for learning.  It is not only important in childhood, imagination is crucial for life. Just imagine a world without it, we would not have scientists making new discoveries, artists making new artworks, Santa traditions, award winning stories like Avatar and we would not be able to cognitively process these possibilities or examples.
• Self-esteem: By giving your child complete control in their pretend world and accepting them as a silly character like Captain Underpants you are enhancing their self-esteem. While they use their own initiative to develop story lines, their creative imagination to expand stories and their own personality to choose a character they enjoy, you are enhancing their self-esteem by allowing them complete power in the world & enjoying it with them.
• Motor skills: Playing is very busy work. While pretending to be adults or role playing your child is also fine tuning their motor skills. Mixing, Pouring, scooping, cooking, squatting, lifting, serving, moving around & remaining active.
• Practice: Practice makes perfect, while they are playing & pretending they are practicing all the skills they are going to need as they grow up into adults in the real world. From simple things like dressing, measuring, serving food, cooking skills, to handling money, grocery shopping, going to the doctor, answering the phone and not to mention practicing appropriate manners, behaviours and etiquette.

 

Pretend Play: Eating out at a cafe

Try to provide some Dramatic Props:

Tea sets,
cooking utensils,



Old cooking pots
outdoor mud station mud-is-good-for-you
play kitchen,



Fresh food Shop with trolley, plastic food, food boxes & Cash register



plastic food,
a cash register,
empty food containers,
Real ingredients  eg: worms-eyeballs-goblin-finger-stew



Pretend cooking with Rainbow Spaghetti.
Doll houses,
Telephone, masks,
Dress up accesories,



Flower Stand. Playdough as mud & flower arranging.

pretend money,
wallets & bags,
a pretend shop stand,


Muffin tin, Shaving Cream & real ingredients. pretend-cooking-wild-berry-muffins

play tools,
toy doctor kit,
bandages,

Doctor mask & toy doctor kit

toy animals,
kids tool bench 
building toys
Costumes pirate-party-dress ups
Make Costumes eg: making-robot-suit
Buried Treasure treasure-hunt

By accepting your child in their make believe world you give them complete control not only over the game, but over the 'world' for that short time, this enhances their self-esteem and gives you a chance to engage in their interests and their blooming personality, share in their enjoyments and it strengthens their trust in you and the world around them.

So next time a screaming Captain underpants runs past you, grab a towel and throw it on as a Super hero cape & go rescue Big Ted from the malicious tornado that’s about to hit your house.

Happy Adventures